Goldilocks and the Three Gay Bears
by Prince Lutin
Summary: Goldilocks comes in to wreck a house belonging to three bears. However, these are not the animal kind. These are the gay kind! Goldilocks eats their manly beef, messes with their bondage equipment, and when she falls asleep, she later wakes up to three hairy gay men hovering over her. Please review!


_**DISCLAIMER:** This is a **PARODY **and is not meant to be taken seriously._

_This story is rated M for sexual content and references to gay subcultures. It is not for those under the age of 18. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A LITTLE KID!_

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><p><strong>THE ESTATE OF NIBIRU-MUL PRESENTS<strong>

**GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE GAY BEARS**

Once upon a time, in the city of San Francisco, there were three bears. Not the animal kind - the hairy gay kind. There was Daddy Bear, Otter Bear, and Cub Bear. They were gay lovers who lived in a polyamorous relationship in an apartment in the seedy section of town.

One day, the bears were at their kitchen table, and were waiting to get their lunch of manly beef with steak sauce.

"Bitches," said Daddy Bear, "beef's ready!"

Daddy Bear handed out the plates of manly beef. Then the bears tasted it.

"FUCK!" said Otter Bear. "This shit is on fire."

"We can't eat this," said Cub Bear.

"What will we do now?" asked Otter Bear.

"Boys," said Daddy Bear, "put on your leather thongs and let's get going to the leather bar for some manly sex."

"BOOYAH!" said the bears.

The bears changed into their leather thongs, which they wore with leather vests, chaps and biker hats. They got their BDSM equipment ready and left the house.

Not long after they had gone, a seven-year-old girl with long, curly blonde hair, a frilly red dress, and a big red bow in her hair was skipping along the ground. She was known to everyone as Goldilocks, and she loved to cause trouble.

Goldilocks saw that the bears had left the door unlocked. She thought it would be good to break into their house.

"Hehehe," she said. "Looks like I've got a nice house."

Goldilocks went inside and saw that the house was full of leather, bondage stuff, and sweat. She saw a bear pride flag on the wall. Of course, she didn't know what this meant.

"Let's see what they have in the kitchen," she said.

Goldilocks went to the kitchen and saw three plates with manly beef on them. She decided to taste each one. She tried the first one...

"This beef is too hot!" she said.

She tried the second one.

"This beef is too cold!" she said.

She tried the third one.

"This beef is just right!" So she ate it up.

Next, she decided to take a look at their furniture. First, she tried the Saint Andrew's cross, but it was not comfortable. Then she tried the queening stool, but it was even less comfortable. Then she tried the fisting sling.

"WHEEEEEEEE! WHEEEEEEE!"

But she did it so hard that it snapped.

"OW! My ovaries!"

Since Goldilocks was so bent out of shape over her pain, she decided to go upstairs and lay in bed.

First, she tried Daddy Bear's bed.

"EWWW!" she said. "There's too much hair in it."

Then, she tried Otter Bear's bed.

"EWWW!" she said. "There's too much sticky white stuff in it."

Last, she tried Cub Bear's bead.

"Ah...this is just right...zzzzz..." And she fell asleep.

That evening, the three bears got home and saw what a mess their house was.

"Fuck!" said Daddy Bear. "Look at my manly beef! Someone ate it."

"Someone ate my manly beef too," said Otter Bear.

"And some bitch ate ALL of my manly beef!" said Cub Bear.

After that, the bears went to their bondage room.

"Someone's been using my Saint Andrew's cross," said Daddy Bear.

"Someone's been using my queening stool," said Otter Bear.

"Someone broke my fisting sling?" said Cub Bear. "What the hell?"

Then the bears went upstairs and saw their beds.

"Someone's been in my bed," said Daddy Bear. "They got rid of the hair."

"Someone's been in my bed," said Otter Bear. "They wiped off the cum."

"And there's a little girl in my bed!" said Cub Bear.

He said it so loudly that Goldilocks woke up. She looked around and saw three men with leather thongs, leather vests, chaps, and biker hats. She didn't know what they were doing in such weird outfits.

"Um..." she said. "Why are you dressed like that?"

"We're bears," said Daddy Bear. "We're hairy gay men who want to live our manly lifestyle. Care to join us?"

The bears started snuggling.

"Um...uh..."

Goldilocks screamed and ran out of the house. She ran down the streets screaming loudly - all the way to her house.

"MOM!" she screamed when she got home. "Bolt the door! There's bears on the loose!"

Meanwhile, the bears were scratching their beards in confusion.

"What's her problem?" asked Cub Bear.

"She must be one of those homophobes," said Daddy Bear. "Oh, well. Let's have some manly sex."

The bears closed the door to their room, turned off the lights, and the story ends with deep, gruff moaning.

**THE END**


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